Why Couples Are Out Matchmaking Their Single Friends

Do you ever notice as a single person invited to dinner partys or drinks, you feel like it is all in the guise of being set up or offered a platter of men (female writing here)—most of which turn out to be rotten or just not suitable to your taste palate. You get to these event and suddenly you are overwhelmed with the desire not to care but also be alert and on the prowl. “Mr. Right could just be here any moment,” your friends entice you to these events and to stay stuck at a lame party when the whole time, you’re thinking you could be snuggled in bed with Netflix. Instead, when I go, I end up feeling like an awkward teenager walking into a school gym transformed into some silly themed dance, hoping someone—good grief, anyone!—would ask me to dance. I felt nearly as pathetic as Samantha mooning over Jake in 16 Candles.
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Lowell Through the Eyes of a Traveler

Bridge over the Pawtucket CanalBridge over the Pawtucket Canal

Sometimes, I feel like I exaggerate my high school years and victimize myself, blaming everyone else for my misery, angst, and loneliness (remember that 30 Rock episode where Liz Lemon goes back to her high school reunion…except, I’m sure I wasn’t that much of an asshole). Going back to Lowell has always felt like I was reliving those memories—those awkward high school years. I do my best to avoid relatives, classmates, etc. But I do leave room to visit a few good friends who have remained an aspect of my root and future.
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Walkway over the Hudson + Minnewaska State Park + New Paltz

Walkway over the Hudson

At 212 feet tall and 1.28 miles long, [Walkway over the Hudson] is the longest, elevated pedestrian bridge in the world. Is it?

When you live in the borough of Manhattan without a car, you don’t really travel farther than what public transportation allows. I am lucky that I live not too far from JFK or LGA and I work a manageable distance to EWR (you know you’ve been checking those travel sites far too often if you can remember airport codes). But that also means my travel are limited to how much dough I roll in and save. So it isn’t much of a surprise that I rarely go out of the city. Train and cab fare aren’t conducive to savings for a “continental tour” (kudos for you if you know what that means without looking it up).

It was with some grace I have friends with cars willing to drive city folks like me around. I’ve been out apple and pumpkin picking thus far (it is expensive without a car and because it’s such a kitschy thing to do, the farms and cabs really do scalp you) and I didn’t think I could afford another random outer city trip.

So on a crisp, sunny Sunday morning, just as daylight savings took effect, I set off with a few friends to upstate New York. Let me repeat, upstate! That is a wilderness unto itself! Where are all the tall buildings? There are people who feel claustophobic from tight space and those from open space. I fall somewhere in between, mostly fear of socializing.

Drive up to Croton-Harmon on the Metro-North Hudson Line
Drive up to Croton-Harmon on the Metro-North Hudson Line

Armed with a Dunkin’ Donut breakfast sandwich and Starbucks soy chai tea latte (breakfast of a corporate sellout, I know), we scrambled to Grand Central in the midst of NYC marathon and police search traffic. The train ride was smooth with the occasional annoying children behind us probably making bunny ears or funny faces (gawd, I hate kids). I have gone through the whole maternal instinct back to never wanting brats who will suck the life and bank out of me. With relief, our ride ended in less than 50 minutes at Croton-Harmon (Croton pronounced with a long O). Croton-Harmon is a small town fifty minutes express outside of New York City for upper middle class families. There are actually homes with yards, fences, and trees. Despite a snowstorm the recent week, the trees held on to some tenacious golden and crimson leaves while snow banks lined the curb. We stopped for a quick breakfast at a cute diner before heading out to Highland, on the west side of the Hudson river, to begin our minor trek.

Starting our little walk over the Walkway-over-the-Hudson
Starting our little walk over the Walkway-over-the-Hudson

I had always wanted to walk the Walkway over the Hudson bridge when I had first seen a getaway package on the mta.info site. One mile and half is actually quite a quick walk. Dogs of all kind walked along their masters, bikers go up and down, there are 2 points in which tourists can stop and view across the river on both sides, police drive up and down just to make sure everyone behaved. There was even a cat on a leash that day! It was a beautiful walk, the air felt like fresh woods and cold water, and there was just enough people to keep it busy but not crazy packed like the Brooklyn Bridge.
Leaves over Lake Minnewaska
Leaves over Lake Minnewaska

Overview of Lake Minnewaska
Overview of Lake Minnewaska

At this point, the sun was slowly descending and we made out way to Minnewaska State Park. Have you seen those movies with lake cabins and hikes up cliffs overlooking some crystal water dark and deep? This was the location. The lake was deep inside what could have once been a quarry, the white stones seemed to be cut in layers. If only one could just dive right off a cliff. I can see why people enjoy living out here.

Roots
Only a nerd could see what that said at first glance

I was glad we went back into the town of New Paltz. If Williamsburg could be a city, New Paltz would be it. There were coffee shops for musicians, coffee shops for tech nerds even! We ended up eating at Mexicali Blue where it was town for fish tacos! On blue corn tortilla! AMAZING! There was even a special for ghost chili brownies. If anyone knows, ghost chilis are the spiciest chilis in the world! Good luck downing that!

It was a long day, a long trek. Lots of things to see, lots of traveling in between. As always, leaving New York City is a breath of fresh air (literally, as well), but I was itching to get back into the city, the grimy, smelly, and busy life.

Cinnamon is Considered the Spice of Love

Cup of Cinnamon Hot Chocolate
The best part about living in a region with four seasons is the food and the memories they evoke. Drinking peppermint chocolate when it’s freezing and snowing, drinking iced tea or lemonade in the bleeding sweltering heat of summer, and the smell of apples and cinnamon of fall brings all these warm fuzzy feelings. Maybe it’s also because I grew up in New England that I associate food with seasons.

When I read “The Girl Who Chased the Moon” earlier this year, there was this scene where one of the bakers opened the window while she’s baking, hoping that the smell would bring back the one person she lost, hoping they’d find their way back to her. It was such a beautiful idea that I started to do that. Every time I baked, I would open the window or balcony door, the smell drifting out hoping that maybe the man I dreamt of for so long could come my way. He would smell the food I cooked (mind you, they were good food…okay, once in while, I’ll admit I burnt some stuff) and come to me. I used to joke that “he’s just lost his direction. He’ll find his way soon.” I just needed to give him a little help. I would throw a dash of cinnamon on the sweets I baked, knowing that cinnamon is considered the spice of love, and also, I would throw all my love into the food I made. I find love makes food taste better, if not sweeter and richer.

So now that fall is here (even if for a short time), every time I order a hot drink, I throw in a dash of cinnamon. Apple cider with soaking cinnamon stick, hot chocolate with a dash of cinnamon, chai tea or pumpkin spice with cinnamon. It taste bitter when you have too much. But it’s too sweet without it. With the right amount, it gives a nice aromatic smell, tempering it so that it’s a balance of sweet and bitter, just like love can be.